Knowing the answer to: ‘what is attraction?’ is something that will change your life forever. My luck with people, and specially with women changed completely once I learned and took on the characteristics of the kind of guy that is magnetic; the kind of guy everyone wants to be around of.
This is one of those matrix-like moments where -like in the movie- you get to choose between:
The blue pill; and continue a lifetime of not being invited to any plans by friends, being friendzoned, not understanding women, and struggling with being called a “nice guy”.
Or you choose the red pill; and go deep into the rabbit hole of learning how the things that will make all people want to be around you, are exactly the same things that will make girls go crazy for you.
To understand what is attraction, you must understand how people work, it’s all about understanding basic human nature and then; if you want to act upon it, you can embody the characteristics that will make you a naturally attractive guy and develop a magnetic personality.
Our human nature makes us all naturally drawn to the same kind of things and the same kind of people; regardless of what kind of different music or food tastes we might all have, there are things that we are all drawn to universally.
In this case, the answer is just one thing and it is pretty simple: Feeling good.
We are all attracted to what makes us feel good, whether it is that natural drive to hang out with our friends because we feel good around them, or the good feelings you get just from looking at that hottie from work.
Learning how to become the guy that everyone wants to be around of is by inherently learning how to become a guy who makes people around him feel good, and there’s three main areas to it.
In a completely different spectrum to ‘be a clown’, being a fun guy doesn’t mean making everyone laugh (even though it sometimes does).
Being a fun person is just being someone who is having a good time by himself and invites others to be a part of it. Seeing the good side of things, having interesting conversations, making the witty and funny comments.
This sort of guy who is genuinely happy with his current situation and is smooth-sailing through the world.
No one really wants to hear someone else whine and complain. Attractive girls are attracted to positive guys, guys with a positive self-image, positive views of the world and positive expectations from life.
Positivity is contagious and it is something that ultimately brings a ‘good vibe’ to people, people are naturally drawn towards positive energy.
Sure, women are attracted to the guy that makes them feel nervous, and feel butterflies in her stomach. But, if he’s just too intimidating she might just avoid him completely.
Becoming someone who makes others easily comfortable around you will make someone who other people are naturally drawn to.
Picture the following social situation:
You're out with some friends at a bar, chit-chatting and having fun.
Have you ever noticed an end of the table where the conversation seems to be more fun than in the other?
Somehow, we feel good from having a conversation on this “cool side of the table”. It gets us socially active, helps us bring our social side out and just gets us in that good ‘flow’.
Such situation embodies the three points I mentioned above: It is fun, positive and comfortable.
In this end of the table there’s usually one guy or guys who is ADDING to everyone’s fun, good vibe, and comfort. This is just that socially valuable place to be in, regardless of if everyone sitting at the table is everyone else’s friend or not, people are just naturally DRAWN to wherever this person is.
Even though the word ‘value’ might sound a little demeaning to some people, we are here defining someone with value as a person who ADDS fun, excitement, good emotions, laughter, conversation, good social tension, stories, etc. All kinds of GOOD things to social interactions, and it is ultimately and to the core what we are all striving to become.
Being attractive is also directly related to being confident, some characteristics of a value-giving guy are:
Being a guy of value is also the main thing girls want, as we all strive to become men of value, it’s just a matter of tiny tweaks and logistics to get instant success with women.
The good part?
We can all become guys of value, no matter how shy you are right now or you’ve been in your past. Value is grown within through building self-confidence (to allow you to express yourself freely, become more fun, comfort building and positive), building social skills (to make your way around the crowd), and growing in self-esteem (get a better perspective on external events, and smooth sail through the world).
These are all learnable skills and ideas, when social experience meets the knowledge of how people work, magic happens. Learning what is attraction ultimately becomes about value. Go out and get social.