What are social skills? Let’s learn the basics. Oftentimes we get a lot of information in our minds, and if you are anything like me, you want to get things in order so you can understand them.
Social skills are the ability to communicate and connect with other people and influence them, good social skills give you the ability to easily make connections, position yourself better in social circles and society.
Truly understanding how human psychology works allows you to create shortcuts both to improve the effectiveness of your social skills and to effectively influence others knowing how their social mind works.
If you’ve ever watched the movie ‘The Matrix’ you’ll understand that there’s basically a hidden world that we don’t really realize exists.
The same happens with people and socializing, you’ll usually think simple things work in simple ways, and most times they do. But sometimes there’s a hidden science behind things.
Something I’m constantly striving for is the understanding of the "social matrix" and just figuring out how all the pieces of this puzzle fit together.
However, the "social matrix" can’t be understood as a math or physics problem, there's no secret formula, there are too many variables in socializing, this is why it’s been so hard for years to come up with a specific way to pin point how everything works.
Acknowledging what are social skills, how social status works and how people are generally attracted to being around a certain type of people is a very important part of building your way to success. These are to a huge extent a consequence of good social skills.
And, you can actually start building up your up the social ladder with some knowledge and work.
If you put your focus on building social skills you’ll master your social life, make friends easily and massively improve your love life.
In this sense, we could point out 3 main skills that you can work on to become ‘the man’ when it comes to effectively connecting, communicating and influencing people. Become the ‘Neo’ of ‘the Social Matrix’.
So, what are social skills quick hacks? It’s connecting with people.
The "pick up community" talks a lot about “approaching”. Basically the most spoken topic in the pickup community is approaching women. What this means is that you go to night clubs (mostly) or other social gatherings and just go talk to random girls.
Applying this in a bigger scale, learning to start with a conversation with virtually anyone will improve your confidence a lot. Having the ability to talk to anyone you want and get a connection is a way to quickly make yourself more confident and more outgoing.
There are 3 reasons why learning to approach new people works:
Do you really have to go approach random girls at social events?
No, not really.
However, knowing the reasons why approaching works allows you to decide whether or not you want to apply this to your life. It’s intensive work for your social skills.
Whether or not you want to start doing this (I HIGHLY recommend you do) you should at least start applying those strategies on some level in your life.
Start being more open to new people in your social circles, start making connections and building bridges with everyone, this is the first hack: The skills of connecting with new people.
What are social skills? It's Building a network of connections.
If you don’t have one then doing some approaches and joining some new social activities should help you start building one.
This is where what I like to call “elite congruence” comes into play. Most of the things taught along with being socially successful revolve around acting in a way that communicates that you are a high social status guy, the more you can make this the way you naturally act, the more successful you’ll be.
On the flip side, if you really thought you were a high status guy then acting this way would come naturally to you. You could call this your sense of entitlement, “I am high status therefore I act high status” consequently, the true belief in that mentality makes people treat you as such.
It works the same way with your social circle, you can make a lot of social connections by acting like a guy who is very social and connects with everyone.
Having a very rich social circle makes you act in this way, it comes naturally, work on building MULTIPLE and rich social circles. You’ll also always have plans for the weekend and this will cause a mentality change.
This is the second pillar: Being congruent and living the social life you want.
What are social skills? It's Feeling worthy of success.
Wow, how airy-fairy does that sound? Well yeah, it’s so basic.
It’s a lot of what I talk about on this site, loving yourself is the ultimate key to becoming a high social status guy. The more you actually start realizing that you are awesome then more you act congruently to it: Better reactions -> more confidence -> better reactions… and so on. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Build your self-love based on how happy you are of the awesome life you’re building for yourself. Don’t base it on how much money you’re making, what car you’re driving or how many girls you’re getting. Love the work you put into your self-development.
This is the last pillar of social skills: Love YOUR plans for yourself and YOUR actions, not the way people react to you.
Work on these 3 hacks to quickly improve your social success, add some approaching to your life (or at least start talking to everyone, including people you don’t know) and commit to it, start building a social circle (or rather multiple ones) and start loving your actions and plans, not the results. Go out and get social!