Improving your social networking skills is definitely one of the most fun skills to work on. It is not completely nerve-wrecking as working on your girl skills or working on your social skills could be, the results can be seen quickly and the payoff is awesome.
Basically what we’re talking about here is building a network of social connections, getting to know lots of new people and maybe getting to be friends with influential people.
So how does it work?
Well it is about forming links with people you meet. Building social circles and expanding it to suit your needs. Connections are one of the most important social resources, and it’s actually fairly easy to build them.
These are people who have the capacity to bring people together.
I learned about this when working in organizations that work with masses of volunteers, basically, a connector is someone who knows lots of people and a “super”-connector is someone who knows even more people.
At some point we’ve all met these guys who have the seemingly natural ability to bring people together and have lots of friends and even more people wanting to be their friends. I have a couple super-connector friends.
What all my “super-connector” friends have in common with each other is that they get along easily with virtually ANYONE and leave a very good impression of themselves on others.
Whenever they meet someone new, they’ll get along with that person and when they leave that partiicular interaction, the other person will be left thinking "woah, that was a cool guy". Pretty awesome social networking skills if you ask me.
Let’s assume you’re starting from scratch to make all the new social connections.
If you have no place to meet people then that’s a big problem and definitely the first thing you must fix. When I started working on the social aspect of my life I had virtually NO friends, so I started looking for ways to put myself around people.
So I started joining classes, special interest groups, etc.
All according to the kind of people I wanted to meet, this later transformed into acquaintances that would invite me to places where I would meet more people and quickly some became my friends.
Now that you’ve found places and situations to meet people, you should be meeting or getting introduced to lots of new people.
Social Networking skills are different to "friend-making"-skills for example; you don’t actually want to make a REAL connection with everyone you meet, even though it would help a lot. But if you’re focusing in the numbers impressions are what matter for now.
This site teaches you that your opinion of yourself is far more important than what others think of you.
However, for the sake of practicality; if you focus on leaving the right cool-guy impression on the people you're meeting, you will have left a good reference for the future if you get to develop this social relationship.
Once you’ve put yourself in a variety of situations where you can meet new people, and know that your point is to leave a good impression when first meeting someone; now you can start letting more people get to know you.
When you’re in a party, meeting, rally, whatever; you should start growing these social connections by talking to everyone.
Don’t get too fancy, a few comments here and there are enough for people to know that you exist and that you’re cool. Slowly in any given situation you’ll start to realize where everyone fits in the social ladder.
Once you get an impression on the new people that you meet, you might get invited to an after-party after an event, or maybe any other day asked to hangout with them.
You must keep getting social with the people you meet and accept any invitations. Especially building those friendships with connectors and super-connectors.
That sounds kind of sketchy, but I’m just speaking from experience.
Back in my loner days I first joined a charity organization and this really cool guy told me we should go to another guy’s birthday that Saturday night.
Back in those days I never went out socially speaking, so this guy later that night asked me what I had done Friday night. I just had no idea what to say so I just said my other friend picked me up and we did nothing.
It wasn’t the best answer, but saying “I never go out” is not very good advertising for yourself, so, don’t do it.
This doesn’t only happen in a romantic relationships, it happens in friendships and when meeting new people.
And this is one of the most important things you’ll EVER learn:
The moment you become needy with a girl is the moment she’ll stop feeling attracted to you. Friends are a bit more tolerant with neediness, but if anyone feels their friend being needy they’ll just feel a bit annoyed by them.
Worst part is that you can’t blame anyone for reacting this way, it’s just a natural reaction to neediness. No one wants to be around it.
If you go out with your friend, it’s ok to cling on him/her for a bit, however you should actively looking to create more social connections with the people there.
Always expand and add to the fun, never suck from the fun like a needy leech.
Work the numbers and you’ll get some pretty valuable connections. Working on improving your social networking skills is a lot of fun! Just go out and try it, Go out and get social!