I have severe social anxiety

by Owais
(Lahore, Pakistan)

Owais writes:

I have had severe social anxiety for the last 2 or 3 years. I am panic and shivering whenever I'm in public gatherings and in front of girls. I cannot eat in public. I am so woried about this. Please guide me on what should I do to relief from my social anxiety.

Gary's reply :

Hello Owais, I can relate to your pain, even thought my social anxiety was never as bad as you describe it, I can completely relate to your current situation.

When you're suffering from severe social anxiety it's easier to just completely avoid social situations so you can feel better and to get the thought of "there's something wrong with me" out of your mind.

It's natural for us to want to feel good about ourselves and that we are worth a lot, but I know that completely dismissing the social aspect of life can be pretty damaging to one's self image.

This is precisely what you should first understand so you can improve.

If you want to get the social life of your life handled, then you're going to have to go through the motions of what getting over social anxiety means.

Socializing is like a sport, some of us are not the greatest at a certain sport, but if we practice enough we can get good at it.

The tricky part is that usually we can't just practice in a safe environment like our backyard, most times we're in the world cup finals in socializing - or so it feels.

Take baby steps towards improving socially, there's no "safe" way to do this, it means stress, it means work but overall it means passion, become passionate about improving your social skills - That's what I did, it is now my passion.

It certainly involves gaining a lot of self-trust and learning to express your personality freely but with confidence.

Start by changing small things in life; for example, start saying hi to your neighbors whenever you can. Make small talk with random people even if it's just commenting on the weather. Express your interests and disinterests; those are all good conversation topics.

Find a place where you can naturally socialize with people, in my case I joined a charity organization back in the day and I met a lot of cool guys and cute girls who are now my good friends.

Getting comfortable with more and more people certainly boosts your confidence because you get something called "social validation".

You will be stressed, panicking and scared, but it's all worth it in the end. You will in the end that you and your unique personality are GOLD, go out and get social!


Here's a few articles I recommend for you


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