How to make friends was and still is a very important question I keep asking myself. I would always look at the cool kids who knew everyone and I wanted to be like them, but I found it extremely hard to connect with people – the story of my life!
I would usually have one or two close friends (sometimes none); it wasn’t a consistent thing. This later resulted in a deep lack of social skills which in my opinion was the main cause of my social anxiety.
Looking back, I don’t see it as a bad thing or a good thing, it’s just how things worked out for me, and I’m glad it allowed me to develop my skills consciously. :)
But that’s all in the past.
Whether you have no friends and want to get some or already have a few friends and want to polish your social skills - this article is for you.
Here I've piled up all the information I learned on how to make friends. The benefits of doing so are great: you learn great social skills, extend the party everywhere you go and you get something called “social value”.
You can get to become a social link between people - it becomes a virtuous circle where your life auto-feeds you with people and social experience.
Those are a few of the benefits of improving your social skills.
Going from zero friends to a rich social life can be a bit over-whelming in the beginning, especially if you're not a very social person.
Mastering the skills to make friends can get you to a level where your social circles feed you with social experience and this allows you to meet more and more people, which allows you to get more experience.
It's the perfect storm, you life is set up a way where your social life feeds itself.
Or instead you could just be looking for advice on how to make a few friends.
Whether you want to live a very socially rich life or just improve your social skills and have a few friends, the same principles apply.
So, how do you become a friend-making person?
If you're anything like me, you have a hard time connecting with people.
For me the answer to how to make friends was a combination of learning to meet people through social networking and learning to connect with the people I met.
Social networking is a kind of logical task, as opposed to connecting with people which is an emotional task.
However, when you're out there making friends it serves you no good to be in a logical state of mind.
Making friends is not always as simple as just being nice to everyone. If you're feeling insecure or out of sync with your environment then you're going to have a harder time connecting with people.
There's a reason why some people connect with other people in an easier way than others. That's what this article is for; I'll explain you the "science" behind connecting with people so you can get a clearer picture and apply it.
You've first got to know that there are two sides behind the "science of making friends":
On the social networking side, if you have a very vague social life, then you NEED to get it handled, get in situations where you meet people and practice your social skills that is a big part of how you learn how to make friends.
Make concrete plans of how and when you’re going to be meeting people: clubs, bars, sport teams, church groups - whatever suits your fancy.
The premise that I’ve stressed a lot in this site and that I can’t possibly stress enough is GO OUT AND GET SOCIAL. That alone will fix all your social problems.
Put yourself in social situations where you meet a lot of people.
You will also need LOTS of experience.
Learning how to make friends is something that sticks with you the more you socialize and start connecting with more and more people. You can only learn social intuition with experience.
There are little ins and outs that you learn in the process of socializing, and slowly but steadily you become competent at connecting with people; Give it time.
Connecting with People Emotionally:
Connecting with people on a deep social level is what I call "vibing". It’s something people will just feel off you.
Usually you get this feeling when you're hanging out with you friends. You can basically be talking about nothing and times just flies by, it's not about the content of the interaction but rather the good feeling you get from it.
When you get the skill to easily vibe with people, you feel socially accepted and also get a feeling where you know that what you’re bringing to the table is valuable. This is basically learning how to make friends.
This allows you to relax and just ride the wave in a social interaction.
It has a lot to do with many social concepts like :
Social networking sites are one of the main ways people stay in touch and connect with others! Try out Myzamana.com for a new and fun way to keep old friends and find new ones!
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