Learning How to Gain Respect
By Setting your Own Standards - Set the bar that others should look up to

Learning how to gain respect goes hand-in-hand with learning social skills. There's two ways you can get respect.

One is by intimidating people, maybe even by physically intimidating them; it causes them to fear you, and makes them not want to mess with you.

Some people like to call that that respect.

Another way to gain respect is by actually earning it.

The first option gets you respect through fear and forces people to give you respect, the second option makes people voluntarily give you their respect.

Many times people get respect from authority positions, such as being the boss, or from their knowledge in a certain area, say a scientist. Sometimes they’re experts on a certain area.

For example: The star basketball player at a local high school team. He will have his teammates respect because he's somewhat an authority in the field, which they can always rely on.

You’ll notice that sometimes those people outside their authority positions won’t always have the same confidence level and might not get the same amount of respect as when they're in their field of specialty.

The boss outside his office is no-one, if no one knows about a scientists knowledge then he’s just another guy. If the basketball player is somewhere where no one knows him then he won’t receive as much respect.

That’ll happen most times.

But, for example: if the basketball player is actually a pretty cool guy apart from being the star player, people will recognize his coolness and give him respect for being socially successful.

Social Success as a way to earn Respect:

Those are reasons why I say that learning to gain respect goes hand in hand with improving your social skills. This is why Social Success is SO important in all areas of your life.

How to Gain Respect from within Yourself:

So, if you want to learn how to gain respect you better stop thinking about getting new clothes, a car, a new job or whatever.

Getting respect can be all about feeling good with yourself, having your own and clear set of values and respecting them and looking the way you want to look without worrying about what other people will think! That's certainly a better approach.

You can get lots of respect from having confidenceand social skills; this is because people in general are really reactive to other people who are more certain of their actions.

Very few people actually stop to think: “Hey I’ll stop reacting to what other people do and start making people react to what I do.”

Being someone who is very certain of their actions is actually a very rare trait, when people interact with someone who is very certain of his actions, they'll automatically give him respect.

It's like the star basketball player but in the social field, people will rely on you to know what to do and where to "pass the ball".

Once you realize that people generally are just reacting to you, then you realize that people will give you respect automatically if you “push the right buttons”.

Of course, it’s not just about social skills and confidence. Those are your tools, but it’s how you use them that will give you authentic respect.

Let's wrap it up:

  • Treat people fairly and with respect, be the cool guy everyone loves, not the abusive jerk everyone loves to hate.
  • Do your best and feel good about it. Be who you’re meant to be and gain confidence and social skills, stay true to yourself. Getting respect from others starts by fully and genuinely respecting yourself and what you do. Thinking that what you say is cool and what you do too (to a subconscious level). Focus on yourself.
  • Have your very OWN set of boundaries and never ever let your boundaries get stepped on.
  • Have a clear concept of what your values are and act congruent with them.

Then answering the question of How to gain respect won’t be necessary as you’re getting respect just for being your best self.

Related Articles:

Develop Social Intelligence: Know what to say, when to say it and how to be the coolest in every situation.

The 3 things that will make you a leader: Get ALL the people to follow you.

Having a Congruent Personality: When confidence comes from being in alignment with your purpose and goal in life.

Just Be Yourself: Gain confidence by just 'being yourself'.

Back from How to Gain respect to How to Make Friends
Back to Social Success Home


Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.