Never learning how to overcome shyness is a quick way to fall last in the social race. This site in THE place to learn how to overcome all your social issues and get the life that you want.
As THE place to overcome shyness and social awkwardness, this article will become the complete explanation of how it all works and how to fix it.
I present to you the one and only complete guide to beating shyness!
Anyway, let’s get to it!
Were you really born shy?
The answer is: No.
Shyness is a product of how you were raised, past experiences, negative influences in younger years, bullying, etc.
Most circumstances that molded your personality today were completely arbitrary things that happened in the past. Basically your current personality is a mix between all those influences you had when growing up and the way you chose to interpret them back then.
Shyness is nothing but a developed fear towards being judged negatively by others. This lack of confidence in social situations make us act submissive so that others won’t try to mess with us.
It’s like broadcasting, “Hey I’m here but I’m harmless, I won’t try to bother anyone too much, I’ll just sit here quietly and not bother anyone. Please like me, I’ll be the nicest I can so that you’ll like me.”
You get the point, we’ve all been there.
Whatever reasons started your shyness is in the past, and you have the complete control to change them today.
Just imagine this:
All of these things can happen because you decided to overcome your shyness and found the abundance of opportunities that being confident and more extroverted gives you.
You must first visualize your perfect social life, whatever it is. Be ambitious about it because how you picture yourself today is what you will become tomorrow.
If you want social success, you must first be willing to do whatever it takes to get it done. You must decide right now that you’re willing to work hard on building a social life where you’re no longer the shy awkward guy in the group.
You must decide that you’re going to put yourself in new social situations to work on your social skills and that you’re willing to go through that bit of anxiety and discomfort to fulfil your dream.
The point here is: Learning how to overcome shyness takes some work, it becomes a lifestyle change in the long run. If you’re naturally introverted you’ve got to be willing to change some bad social habits that won’t help your confidence into good social habits that feed your life and mentality with positive influences.
Bottom line: Some life changes must be made, sitting at home playing World of Warcraft won’t cut it anymore.
Confidence will give you good interactions with others, good interactions with others will give you confidence.
This is called the Competence vs Confidence loop, when you’re good at something you act confident about it, and this confidence you get from the good performance will allow you to perform better.
So what does this have to do with starting to get over your shyness?
Well, before we can magically produce any confidence in ourselves we must first become competent. This means that to get confident you must first work on building good social skills.
The skill to start a conversation is just a skill. You’ll usually want to find common interests to make the whole thing easy flowing, if you don’t find any common interests then it doesn’t matter, just do the talking.
Effectively learning to start a conversation is learning to talk through the initial discomfort and whist at it, becoming the bringer of comfort to the conversation.
Getting through the initial stages is a skill on its own, but keeping it going is a whole other skill, a much easier skill than starting the conversation though.
Social intelligence is developed through experience, social intelligence is the skill to have the intuition of the correct timing in social situations. When is the right time to crack that joke, when to push a social interaction forward and when to take a step back. You’ll develop a feel for it.
Everyone feels awkward at different levels, the trick is to take action regardless of that awkwardness. Even people who seem really comfortable in their own skin feel awkward.
Making things comfortable is a skill, taking those awkward situations and making them pleasing to others by defusing the tension effectively will make people love to have you around.
love leaders, nothing’s more comfortable than just following plans that were
made by someone else. Being used to being in charge of social situations takes a big role on learning how to overcome shyness.
And also, this a skill that’s especially important when it comes to getting women attracted to you.
What are Social Skills: Get down the basic three pillars and build an amazing social life on them.