How to Make New Friends - Page 2
- What to do? Become a
Social
Magnet

To understand how to make new friends, socially connect and "socially vibe" with others, you've got to first understand that friendship is all about sharing good emotions with like-minded people. The connection is established through the emotional part of our brain, not through the logical part of it.

Sharing a good time with your friends is what makes a good friendship feel good and this is your ultimate goal when you want to establish new connections with new people. If you want to learn how to easily make friends then you’re looking for the skill to create those good vibing emotions at will.

You can first learn certain social skills to make the whole process of learning how to make new friends and making friends easier for you.

Understanding Social Value:

Having social value basically means having a combination of good social things about you; being a high-status guy (alpha-male), having social connections, being socially savvy, etc.

As superficial as that sounds, being a socially valuable guy is ultimately what brings social success to your life. Social success = social value, basically.

It's an end goal for someone who's working on their social skills, at first sight it almost sounds as something bad and really superficial but you must understand that our social nature as humas is drawn to those "socially valuable" things and people will be naturally drawn to you if you have it.

By no means I'm saying that you have to have all those things in you to start making friends. The point is that the more you develop more friendships, connections, confidence, self-esteem and start being a fun person; the more people will be naturally drawn to you.

In the end, being fun and positive is enough, it attracts people to you. As your confidence develops you get the opportunity to offer others your confidence and leaderdship so that they can relax in any social situation.

Learn how to develop your coolness/social value here.

Learn Social Calibration - Get Experience:

The more you “expose” yourself to social situations, the more you’ll learn the small gimmicks that take part in socializing. Those small little things that take part in socializing will be internalized by your unconscious mind.

This allows you to develop your social calibration, social intuition and social intelligence which are basically the same things with small differences.

Logic is the enemy of "vibing".

You should NEVER be in a social interaction thinking about the interaction itself, trying to “micro-manage” your interaction is the best way to make yourself awkward and unnatural.

This means that to get to be the social magnet, you need your unconscious mind to have learned some social calibration and this will only happen through repeated experience.

Your social calibration will lead you to be the guy who cracks the right joke at the right time, knows what to say and knows how to lead a conversation. A pretty important skill when learning how to make new friends.

Exposure allows you to be more socially savvy and develop your confidence.

Don't Wait for Others - Learn to Take Control:

I’ve become friends with people who helped me get out of my shyness by asking me questions, doing the conversation and bringing out the social side in me, actually one of my friends is this way and this is exactly how we became friends.

However, if you want to be able to make friends anywhere anytime you’ve got to depend only on yourself. You can’t depend purely on social people to make you social, you can actually learn from what these people do and apply it yourself.

Become responsible for the social opportunities you create.

Have an Effective Social Strategy:

Some of those standards are completely arbitrary and superficial; you won’t always be in an environment where you know everyone for example. Feeling confident in an enviment where you are in control is known as “situational confidence” and it’s how a lot of cool people remain cool at all times.

If you take them out of an environment where they feel comfortable, and they’ll be like fish out of the sea. Instead; genuinely cool people bring a good time with them at all times.

This should be the basis of what you bring to other people, a fun and positive experience that doesn’t depend on external circumstances; this is the most effective social strategy.

Being fun is NOT about being a clown, learn more about it here.

Learn to Keep a Conversation Going:

A big step of socializing and how to make new friends is the skill to converse effectively.

Learning how to converse is a good first step. If you’re also trying to improve your dating life and luck with girls this becomes a pretty important skill.

Learn to take part in Group Conversations

Learning How to make new Friends - Being Open to People:

Before I implied that "just being nice" isn’t enough, however I’m just making a point proving that the element of coolness is extremely important in social connection. But, being friendly is also very important.

Be open to everyone: cool people, nerdy people, snobby people, poor people, surfer people, homeless people, etc.

If you want to become someone who other people want to be around of, then you should be friendly to everyone. In the long run you want to think of yourself as someone who brings social value to the table, you are the one "bringing the party", you are just fun to be around of even if this means just chilling in calm.

True fun is not always loud and obnoxious.

Be Open to all Invites:

Don’t let fear of discomfort stop you from going out with people.

All that matters is that you’re constantly practicing your social skills. If you get invitations to practice those skills, don’t turn them down. If you don’t get the invitations, make the opportunities yourself.

As a rule of thumb: Never turn down an invitation to go out and socialize unless you legitimately can’t attend.

Go to parties, it really helps A LOT:

What better place to practice your socials skills than a place with lots of people? Best place to find lots of new people and a perfect place to practice your social skills and learn how to make new friends.

If you’re a shy guy, it feels awkward but there’s a couple reasons you should still go:

  • You’ll feel included in the social circle of the people who invited you.
  • You get confidence from doing the “normal” social activities everyone does, this is especially important for confidence building if you see yourself as a loner.
  • It’s like hitting the gym for your social muscles.

Don’t be clingy, remember that you are supposed to give out a good vibe. Clinginess to friends kind of sucks that good vibe away.

Train yourself to expand the fun, not take it away. Expand the fun in a cool way, not being a clown or making fun of others in a mean way.

Soon enough, you will unconsciously start learning to vibe socially with others as you learn to let go and express your personality more and learning how to make new friends. You will also get know a lot of people which means that if you have no social life; you’ll have opportunities to get a social circle(s).

7 Wrap-Up Facts about Learning How to Make New Friends:

  1. Making new friends is all about putting yourself in the social situations and then having a good time, “vibing”, with the people you meet.
  2. Expressing your personality freely is what will allow you to easily connect with people.
  3. Developing social calibration will make you “cooler” and you can only get it through experience.
  4. True connection comes from two personalities “clicking” together, the expression of your personality makes this happen more naturally. Being stifled slows down this process.
  5. Some people are extremely outgoing and will want to bring the best out of shy people. However, if you want this skill to help you out in life you’ve got to learn it and not have it depend on other people.
  6. People are attracted to “social value” the “cooler” you are, the more people will want to have a real connection with you. Kind of like the attractive girl who every guy wants to be the love of their life.
  7. Social value depends on how much you’re bringing to the table socially speaking. How many people you know, how socially calibrated or funny you are, how sincere your connection is with them. Some of those sound superficial but that’s how we instinctively work. However, a real connection with a friend is far more “socially valuable” so, don’t worry.

Try to follow these guidelines, and along the way you will be meeting people and learning how to make new friends. Go out and get social!

Next Article:  How to be Cool -->

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