Connecting with people and learning how to make friends is the most important and basic social skill you'll ever learn, EVER. Well, that's kind of obvious, isn't it?
As a shy guy, I would always look at the cool kids who had lots of friends and I wanted to be like them. I wanted all the friends and abundance of social opportunities. But, as a shy guy I found it extremely hard to connect with people as you probably do too.
I would usually have one or two close friends, and it wasn’t like I was able to keep my friends for a very long time.
The lack of consistency making friends and having social contact in my early years later resulted in a deep lack of social skills and social connections in the rest of my life, which then probably became the main cause of the development of my Social Anxiety.
But, there’s a bright side to not having friends and having difficulty making them.
Having no friends can actually be a good thing, because you can learn to build your social connections empire from the ground. Some people have this whole friend-making thing happen for them naturally, but when you learn to build it step by step you'll get the skill to make friends anywhere anytime.
Whether you want to live a very socially rich life or just improve your social skills and have a few close friends, work is to be done and the same universal principles apply.
Learning how to make friends is about establishing social connections easily and with anyone.
Think about how the skill to instantly connect with anyone would help you in your social life, dating life, job and confidence.
Being someone who easily connects with people actually becomes something that attracts more people into your life. Everyone wants to be friends with the guy that has lots of friends, people are always chasing social value and someone who has lots of social connections represents someone with social value.
Basically, having friends makes more people want to be your friends.
Same way money attracts money, a rich social life will attract a richer social life.
So, how do you become a friend-making person?
Aligning your entire life with your goal is what brings consistency to the way you act. In this case, you want your social side to always come naturally. You want it to be something you ARE, not something you DO from time to time.
Bad social habits like being all day on the internet or playing video games all day must die.
Build a life that naturally includes:
Having cool friends means improving your social chance in life, as much as I have my nerdy friends who I love; building a life of social opportunities should include not being afraid of the cooler guys and high social status.
I get it that as shy guy
(at least in my case) I felt intimidated by cool high-status guys, in reality
it was my own insecurity reacting with fear. You must learn to be ok around cool people because it'll improve your confidence and allow you to be more outgoing.
Real cool guys are nice to everyone and this is what you aim to be, a confident guy that uses his coolness for good and not to be a jerk.
On the other side, making friends is not always as simple as just being nice to everyone.
Being nice but not being socially savvy about it isn't cool, people quickly catch up on this and reject it.
First things first, you NEED to get in situations where you meet new people constantly so that you can practice your social skills, you can’t learn how to make friends without the people, right?
Don't be scared to face new social situations.
It’s ok o feel insecure and out of sync because in the beginning you’re just building a skill, you need to start acting like a social guy before you can actually become the social guy. If you really want to learn how to make friends and build up a social life you've got to make the commitment to go out and do it.
Don't be scared to be uncomfortable.
Once you’re meeting people, you should learn how to make friends, handle new people and diverse social circles through Social Networking.
Put yourself in the social situations where you allow yourself to meet lots of people and work it out.
Connecting with people on a deep social level is what I call "vibing". Vibing is the sharing of good emotions through conversation or social connection.
Vibing is having a good time socially speaking; you usually get this feeling when you're hanging out with your friends. You can basically be chit-chatting about nonsense and times just flies by. What is being said, the context or the content of the social moment doesn't really matter, and it’s about relaxing and sharing good emotions with one another.
Vibing is about establishing a real human connection with others. This is to the deepest level connecting socially with others. Vibing is the social sharing of good emotions just by being around others.
Vibing is basically the ultimate goal to connect and influence others.
Learning how to successfully vibe with anyone we choose to “vibe” with is that skill that will ultimately get us all the friends and good social moments we want.
Essentially, learning to vibe is learning how to make friends, plus, it's truly a great confidence builder.
So now, this connection with others happens naturally, how do you increase your chances of it happening?
The opportunity to make this social connection increases when people sense these qualities in you. Increasing your success with making more and more social connections is directly related to improving those qualities; find out how to do it in page 2.