How to make Conversation in Group Settings - Learn to Participate and
Lead a Conversation in Groups

Learning how to make conversation surely is one very important social skill, especially to make yourself one of the cool guys in your social circles.

Nothing is more captivating to the mind than a good public speaker, someone who can get the attention, hold it, and be comfortable and entertaining.

Having good speech abilities is extremely valuable in social interactions and learning this skill will surely lead you to social success is a very fast way.

After all, we all love to hear, amazing and engaging funny stories from a cool guy, don’t we? That cool guy is only a skillset away from being you.

Anyway, before getting the skill comes the “how to get it” part and here are the pointers to get you in that direction and start learning how to make conversation effectively.

People are Self-Centered – First get the attention:

Saying people are self-centered might sound like I’m complaining about the way people act, but actually it’s one of the most important pointers when it comes to making conversation in group settings. Because now you know what interests them the most - themselves.

Everyone is guilty of this flaw.

Whenever someone is talking with someone else they’re either:

  1. Waiting for their turn to talk.
  2. Thinking “how does what this person is saying affect or relate to me?”

If you’re giving them conversation material that they’re interested on, they will feel interested on what you’re saying.

This includes:

  •          An interesting conversation topic
  •          A fun conversation topic.
  •          A fun conversation without a topic.
  •          Someone of social value is speaking/they think becoming friends with this person makes their "coolness" improve.

The result of effectively addressing their interests is that people will voluntarily give you attention when you’re speaking.

It all starts with the knowledge that people are self-centered and always looking for good emotions, this is a natural part of human psyche, use it in your favor.

The topics that are important in a group setting change from time to time, it usually isn’t a good idea to talk about yourself considering people are self-centered, right?

Well, whatever is interesting to you (like maybe talking about yourself) might be interesting to them depending on how you’re saying it.

Once you get it, Keep the Attention – Lead the topic:

Once people notice that what you’re saying is interesting to them or adding to the fun, keeping that attention becomes all about you.

The confidence behind your words will communicate with your audience’s unconscious mind, they will either be fully engaged or start ignoring you depending on the confidence behind your words.

So what do you do if you’re not that confident yet and you want to start practicing leading a group conversation?

Well first, like everything in the social mastery world, you don’t need to actually be perfect at it, don’t get all anxious about not being confident enough to hold that kind of attention.

Personal confidence helps, but what matters the most in this case is the confidence in what you’re saying. For others to want to hear your story you must want to tell it first and also believe that they will want to hear it.

Your attitude is what will connect with other people’s unconscious minds.

The trick is being excited about your own story.

The better you get at believing in what you’re saying, the more people will want to hear it, and the more you’ll be able to hold their attention. This is extremely important knowledge when learning how to make conversation.

It’s not like people don’t want to give you attention or that they’re mean, it’s just an instinctive natural reaction to what their unconscious minds perceive as valuable at the moment or not.

You’ll get more comfortable in the spotlight:

If you’re not very socially skilled, the spotlight is terrifying, especially if you’re shy.

Being in the “spotlight” is necessary for social skills development, learning how to make conversation, confidence and success with women. You’d amazed how much attention you get from girls in your social circle when on certain occasions you’re the main cool guy doing the talking.

The answer to mastery in this area is practice of course. The more you do it the more comfortable you’ll get in that type of situation. It’s all about unconscious learning, your mind learns to a deep unconscious level that it’s ok to face situations where you’re scared and that you won’t get hurt.

Once you get some group conversation skills, the anxiety of being in the spotlight will be reduced, causing you to perform better at group conversations and so on.

But, the first step must be made.

For that first step, here are some tips on what to have in mind when practicing your group conversation skills.

What to keep in mind when learning how to make conversation:

Keeping so many tips in mind can be tough. I recommend that when you’re out with friends and having fun or in any other social setting, and you want to practice your social skills; only keep one social skill to practice in mind to practice on per day.

  • Consciously think about practicing group conversation: When you’re out practicing social skills and especially learning how to make conversation in group setting, it’s easy to get sucked into the interactions and not actually practice the skill of jumping in.
  • Join early: as soon as you meet up with your friends start taking part in the group conversation, force yourself to do it. This helps you stay out of your mind.
  • Get a couple backup topics: Have a few topics in stack so that whenever it’s necessary you can throw them in and add up to the conversation.
  • Address the leader: There’s always that friend that sort of “controls” the interaction, people usually react to this person, and you want to engage all, but mainly address the “leader” especially if you’re new to the social group you’re dealing with
  • Get busy with the 'what to' say, not the 'how to' say it first: Ultimately if you're learning how to make conversation in groups, you must first get yourself talking, and thinking about HOW to say things will only get in the way of practising your skills.
  • Be easy: Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re not expected to be perfect, you’re just learning social skills. Other people are not perfect neither are making an effort to get better social skills.

How to make conversation - What to talk about?

It depends on so many things that it’s basically impossible for me to tell you what to talk about without actually being in the social setting myself.

However, as you develop social intelligence through social experience, you’ll also develop the skill to know how to follow the topics, what flows naturally, how to go with it, what to say and how to add your own humor to it.

Usually people want to talk about other people, other famous people, social events or memories that include any of those things.

Those are some topics you might want to try that appeal to most people, however the goal is talking about whatever you want to talk about.

Learn to make small talk, I personally like deep conversations and discussing ideas (instead of discussing people). But, it’s not very socially savvy to try to have those types of conversations all the time.

In the end, learning how to make conversation in a social group setting is a skill that involves a bit of self-belief and social intelligence and those are things you can easily develop if you keep going at it! It’s about; Go out and get social!

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