Learning how to handle Rejection makes you the KING of Socializing - Part 2

Express your personality freely:

Effectively learning how to handle rejection depends a lot on learning how to express yourself freely regardless of the situation. We usually don’t express freely because we fear we might get rejected.

Truth being that either way some people will like you and others won’t, might as well just do what is better for your social life. Ironically, expressing yourself freely will make some people not like you, but it will make others love you; and this is actually how you’ll get rejected less.

On the other hand if you’re just trying to be liked by everyone by being a quiet shy guy and not expressing yourself; you’re bound to be “the quiet guy in the corner” or not even be registered in anyone’s radar.

It’s a contradiction that the more polarizing you are with your personality the more people will love you or hate you; but if you’re just trying to please everyone or being shy, the rule is that people will ignore you or reject you.

People want positive influences in their lives, so be an INFLUENCE with your personality, don’t hold yourself back.

Transform Rejection into Confidence – Learn How to handle Rejection in Real Settings:

Confidence grows through your self-trust, the more you trust yourself in any endeavor the more confident you’ll be at it, and the more likely you’ll be to perform well.

That’s how practice makes a master.

Confidence is basically you mind’s way of saying “You know how to do this, you can handle it and there’s nothing to worry about.”

What if you could apply this to social skills and become really confident around others?

Rejection is actually your main tool to do it.

This is where rejection becomes a good thing, it might feel bad or be scary at first but getting rejected is the way to TEACH your mind that “it’s ok.”

Socially speaking, we fear for our lives when we get rejected. It was a legitimate fear millions of years ago, but it isn’t anymore.

This is why we fear speaking up and getting embarrassed. Speaking up might have meant that the alpha-males in the tribe could beat you up. Getting embarrassed would mean your social status goes down, you get less respect and your social opportunities go down. Meaning you could starve to death.

We’ve evolved this way to preserve the social roles in prehistoric societies. All the males in the tribe can’t be alpha so we naturally evolved to fear disrupting the social order of things.

In modern societies the evolutionary fear still exists but it actually doesn’t represent a real threat.

So, you can actually teach your mind that it’s ok to get rejected, and this can only happen by getting rejected.

Go out and get social experiences, and whenever you get rejected you mind will see:

“Hey, I didn’t die, the emotions aren’t that bad. I can feel more confident in the next situation.”

Some people might say getting rejected would make them LESS confident, but the difference is in your interpretation of it.

If you take rejection personal, you will feel like a failure because you’re thinking, “this other person is rejecting ME.”

If you take rejection as a part of a learning process the story is completely different, rejection becomes “I’m working on my social skills and I’m not quite there yet, this rejections will make future rejections feel less intense.”

It’s called progressive desensitization, things get less scary as you go through them several times. It's no different for learning how to handle rejection.

Work on it by Putting your Real Personality on the Line:

Getting rejected for being “you” hurts, however, being vulnerable by putting yourself in the line to get rejected is how you grow in self-acceptance.

Being rejected by someone else really means nothing about the real you. Nothing someone else says will change your real value and the true awesomeness of what you are and can be.

Go out by expressing yourself and putting the real you out there, you will learn to love the real you as you start realizing that other people’s opinions don’t mean anything.

It's Not Always About You:

Usually rejection says more about the other person than it says about you. Maybe this girl is having a bad day, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she doesn’t know how to deal with people coming up to her or maybe she’s shy.

Maybe that social group is really insecure about new people joining, maybe a shy guy acts rude because he feels insecure or maybe someone’s just having a terrible day.

There’s so many things that you don’t control that might cause rejection that it’d be insane to think that it’s 100% your fault.

Some other times people just won’t like the way you approach them or a situation. Either way, it’s oftentimes more about them or about the way you did something than about the real you.

As you get more social intelligence and skills you’ll get rejected less and less because you’ll get to know how to approach any social situation and get in a more socially abundant mindset.

Learning how to handle rejection is about taking the positive out of it: Growing in confidence, getting self-acceptance and learning that it’s no big deal. To achieve all these things you must expose yourself to it by expressing yourself and putting yourself in social situations. Go out and get social!

<-- Dealing with Rejection - Part 1

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