The Basics - How to Build Self Confidence - Page 1

When it comes to learning how to build self confidence, there’s just one thing we can all say: We want MORE. Feeling confident is one of the most awesome feelings in the world; especially as a man.

So, what is it and how can you learn how to build self confidence? How can I become the cool guy in social groups? How can you become fearless?

Confidence is merely an emotion, and emotions are associated to chemicals in your brain, whenever an external event makes you happy, sad, anxious or confident, your brain basically makes you feel a certain way and you get this emotion merely because your brain started that chemical reaction in itself.

However, real confidence doesn’t come from external things that happen to you, real confidence comes from your mentality. You can build a life where you’re the lead character and you trust yourself on making things happen.

Where Should Confidence come from?

Confidence is simply your mind’s way of telling you: “Ok guy, you can now relax and express yourself freely because right now there’s no way you can fail at anything. You’re awesome.”

Real confidence comes from your self-esteem, self-image and self-view, you’ll never find real confidence coming from superficial or external things.

On the other hand, external things can help you build the life you want and help you build that positive mindset in your daily life.

Let’s consider both internal and external factors and learn how to build self confidence from them.

Internal Factors:

  • This can only come from your own self-concept.
  • Knowing that confidence ONLY comes from yourself.
  • That you are capable of feeling confident and as good as anyone else.
  • That you are enough and as capable as anyone else.

External Factors:

  • This comes from how you build an environment that helps you feel more confident every day.
  • Building a positive life that reinforces a mindset where you see yourself as someone who’s awesome.
  • Having friends and relationships that help you build this mentality.

Work on both. On changing the way you think so that you become a guy that is naturally confident, and you work on building the life that makes this mindset consistent and persistent.

The Mindset - How to Build Self Confidence:

Before getting practical on ways to boost your self-confidence you’ve got to know what mindset and ideas to keep while working on your skills.

Accept Yourself – Self-Acceptance:

The first step is simply accepting the fact that wherever you’re standing in life right now; you can feel completely confident about yourself. You could have no life, but the fact that you are interested in developing a life, friends and confidence is enough. To feel good, you are a man with a plan.

Self-acceptance is one of those hard things when you feel insecure about yourself but the only thing you’ve really got to do for it to work is to stick with the realization that “You are enough”.

Fall in love with that idea because you’re going to use it in the rest of your journey, even if you don’t believe it at first; get obsessed with the “I am enough.” Idea.

Fake it till’ you Make it:

Kind of contradicting, isn’t it?

On one hand I tell you to accept yourself fully and now I’m telling you to fake confidence; that doesn’t sound very self-accepting.

While you fully accept that you are enough and that self-trust is all you need to feel confident right now; you also work on ways for this idea to really stick in your mind. While you’re working on learning how to build self confidence and doing what has to be done, you know that the potential is all in you.

A good way to make the mindset shifts that will make you naturally feel more confident is to fake it till you make it.

By always acting confident (faking it till’ you make it) you are training yourself for this to become your new behavior. The trick with this one is to stop listening how you feel in the moment and act regardless.

It used to happen to me “Hmmm I should always act confident but I feel so fake because when I’m acting confident I’m actually really scared inside… HELP!”

Yes, that happens and that’s completely ok. Stop listening to stupid emotions that are stopping you from becoming the more confident man you want to be. You are a man with a plan and this plan will be carried through regardless of what you emotions say.

“Fake it till you make it” is just the marketing solution for that awesome product that is you.

Start Working and Stop Comparing:

An awesome way to lose your confidence almost instantly is to compare yourself to other guys who are apparently “cooler” than you.

This is your journey and your life, compare yourself only to yourself.

Keep track of your progress, how much better are YOU getting in your confidence building tasks vs. your old SELF? Are YOU actively trying to be more outgoing? How’s YOUR eye contact compared to YOURSELF? How is YOUR process of learning how to build self confidence compared to YOURSELF?

Here’s a rule of thumb, a big fat rule of thumb: DON’T EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.

You might notice positive qualities in others and that’s completely ok as long as you’re just using them as references.

As a Little Trick/Mindset shift: Those guys who display huge amounts of confidence and intimidate you, aren’t really that special. If you ever listened to their conversations you’d see that they’re just normal people that seem to be on a whole other level to yours. Reframe intimidating people by knowing that this is all an illusion in your mind, if you 100% trusted yourself too you’d have the same effect on others. Get others off the pedestal.

Stop the Victim Mentality and Inferiority Complex:

“Poor me” must stop. If someone else can do it, so can you. Inferiority complexes go hand in hand with comparing yourself to others.

The more particular you think your problem is, the more universal it actually is. Other people feel anxiety in many situations too, the difference is that you’re not going to complain, you’re going to be a winner and play it your best!

How to build self confidence - Get to Action -->

Related Articles:

Having a Congruent Personality: When confidence comes from being in alignment with your purpose and goal in life.

Exercises for Gaining Self Confidence: Hit the confidence Gym.

Just Be Yourself: Gain confidence by just 'being yourself'.

16 Confidence Boosters: Sixteen things you can do to win confidence.

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