Getting a girlfriend and learning how to attract girls is mainly about understanding how your personality can influence the way a girl feels about you. It is somewhat related to the characteristics that position you as cool guy, the kind of guy that influences people and is fun to be around of.
This kind of social status is conveyed through your personality, being dominant, a leader of men, confident, non-needy, etc.
It’s about being the “alpha male”, however, becoming an alpha male is NOT about acting like the high-school douchy American football player we see in movies, or pretending to be cool. It’s about building true core confidence, self-trust, self-esteem, and about becoming a better person.
On my very first experience with getting a girlfrien, I acted like an “alpha male” and got the girlfriend I had always wanted, but the amount of effort I had to put into keeping that act together was enormous! After a while it started messing with my head, making me feel like I had to keep up an act rather than just being myself.
Long story short, I lost the girl.
What I’m trying to say here, is that getting a girlfriend is about TRULY becoming that true more confident and better version of yourself.
On the other hand, while you are constantly working on becoming a more confident man, you can work on your outer skills. It is vital that you learn how to work with keeping the sexual tension in any given social interaction with women.
This is called ‘man-to-woman’ communication, failing to do this is why most guys fall into, to make it simple, man-to-woman communication is simply: Flirting.
Flirting is more about a general vibe than it is about a list of facts I can give you on what to do. It’s the language of ‘I like you and I know that you like me, it feels good so let’s just enjoy it by pushing this emotion back and forth’.
Getting good at it might come natural as you might be good at catching certain cues, but if it’s not, you’re going to need experience to really get a grasp of it.
The purpose is truly embody the qualities of an attractive man. But what can you do meanwhile? Does this mean you can’t try to get a girlfriend until you’re perfect?
Not at all, if anything, the first step is to fake it till you make it. Act like you’re supposed to until you become it. This doesn’t mean completely changing your personality. What it means is that you start acting as the more confident version of yourself right away.
You can focus on the negatives; don’t be self-deprecating, don’t flinch or stutter too much, don’t be unsure.
Or you can focus on the positives; be cool, be confident, have a nice voice-tone, good eye contact, etc. It is basic that on some level you are showing your interest so that it doesn’t fall on platonic friendship.
These are all displays of being a man that leads a happy and purposeful life, and who holds himself in high regards.
Hold good eye contact that gets the message through: “Im a confident guy and I like you.”
Be physical, don’t be afraid to touch her but don’t be a creep. You can learn all these things on the road and develop your own effective style of flirting.
Confidence: Start going out and socializing more and more, don’t sit in your comfort zone. Being outspoken, being able to carry a conversation and so on.
Leadership: In my case I learned to do this by using a commanding voice tone and making decisions, it’s an easily trainable skill you can research a lot more about it. It's very attractive to girls, very important on getting a girlfriend and even more important if you plan to keep the girl that you learn to LEAD.
Social Intuition: You learn this by going out and socializing a lot; it’s about charisma and knowing what to say and when.
Fun: Humor, being a source of good emotions, makes others feel good by being around you. However, do NOT become a “dancing monkey” for other's amusement.
Of course not, you could get a girlfriend tomorrow. However, what I have explained here is likely to improve your chances of attracting more women, and also the quality of girl you’ll get. Like I said before, all women are attracted to the same characteristics in men, just like all men are attracted to physically attractive women.
Except, the traits that truly make a woman feel and hold attraction are all in your personality. You don’t have to become ‘Mr. 100% Alpha male’, but the point is, the more you work on developing those qualities; the more likely you are to attract more women into your life. I truly believe that this is a life-long process, self-improvement is for you and for her.
It’s not rocket science. If you get the basics down then getting a girlfriend should be an afterthought. The more you interact with a girl and the more she is attracted to you, the more she’s going to want to keep you. Just because you are
If you want this girl to be your girlfriend, keep moving forward, improving socially and in confidence and then just increase the amout of time you guys spend together, next thing you know she’s going to want to keep you forever!
So in a nutshell, answering getting a girlfriend means learning how to interact with girls, attract them, in the long run always improve yourself, and keep moving forward. If you keep going out, meeting new girls, sooner than later you will find the one girl that you have that special connection with and establish that win-win situation. Go out and get social!
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