6 ways to flirt with girls effectively – Revolutionize your Flirting skills

Learning how to flirt with girls is one of the first steps towards the mastery of your dating life; flirting with girls can be fun and exciting but it can also get to be hard and scary. Having the ability to flirt effectively can turn your life into an amazing adventure filled with hotties, an amazing girlfriend or a beautiful wife.

Once you get to know what direction to take your interactions with women, how attraction works and how to progressively become a more attractive guy; the next step is taking ACTION.

No amount of theory will replace actual in-field experience, and in this case your field is interacting with real girls in real life. There’s no other way for this to become a part of who you are if you don’t practice it and make effective flirting a natural part of the way you interact with women.

Most guys don’t know how to flirt with girls, some think it involves buying lots of flowers, others think it goes down to spending lots of money on dates and filling her with compliments, reality is that it’s nothing like that, and once you know how to do it you can have a huge advantage over other guys and lots of success. 

Knowing how to flirt with girls is about emotions, not logic:

A point most of my friends miss when they’re trying to flirt with girls is realizing that they should be addressing the emotional side of girls and not their logical side.

My friend Manuel keeps getting friendzoned because when he tries to flirt with girls, especially right after he just met a girl he begins talking about work, politics or intense emotional life situations.

On the other hand, when I meet a girl I’m just trying to have fun and include her in my fun by saying silly things, dropping strong opinions just to get a laugh, teasing her while keeping it all lighthearted and fun.

The result is an extremely frustrated Manuel saying ‘how do you do it? You’re not even trying!’

Girls like fun and strong emotions, the reason why jerks usually get all the girls is because they produce this emotional rollercoaster, one moment they show interest in them and the next they push them away or ignore them. Girls are extremely attracted to these kinds of intense emotions whether good or bad.

1. Intrigue and challenge:       

Girls want challenge and excitement, they want guys that are somewhat hard to get but will still give them the time a day, knowing how to flirt with girls is all about bringing this kind of challenge to your everyday interactions with girls, and especially to those interactions with the ones you are attracted to.

  • The way you bring challenge to how you flirt with girls is:
  • Don’t IMMEDIATELY answer all her texts.
  • Keep having your own fun and sharing it with others.
  • Have some sort of criteria when she asks you to do something.
  • Being dominant of your own life.

Bottom line, being a bit egotistical and satisfying your needs first than hers but still being a cool guy and a nice person.

2. Push-Pull:

Push-pull is based on going back and forwards with good and bad emotions in a fun a lighthearted way, and a manner in which your attitude shows her interest and then leaves a space for her to doubt.

It can be as silly and lighthearted as you want, for example:

You: You’re so short. (Push)

Her: I’m not that short.

You: But that’s ok, I kind of like it. (Pull)

Her: Really?

You: Yes, I think pygmies are cute! (Push)

Her: OMG!

You: I’m just kidding. [Hug] (Pull)

It’s not about blabbing random insults; it’s about teasing, keeping it fun and light and playing with the sexual tension that arises from such challenges. You can always bring back your pushes by saying “I’m just kidding” if it went too far or just to dissipate some tension.

3. Misinterpretation:

Taking everything she says and making it seem like she’s somewhat attracted to you, hitting on you or completely in love with you. This creates massive positive tension with the girl and makes her giggle and laugh nonstop.


Her: Well, I’ve got to go I’m sleepy.

You: Whoa! Slow down, I’m not ready to sleep with you.

4. Chase frames:

A social frame is created by the roles each person has in any given interaction, whether is it boss-employee, teacher-student, parent-child, etc. If there’s no frame behind an interaction it just becomes a random conversation between random people with no feeling behind it.

You must keep this in mind when interacting with girls, the feeling behind your interaction should be something among the lines of “I like you but I’m not sure yet, so I’ll tease you with it”. The more consistent and confident your overall attitude is with this frame, the more attracted she’ll be.

Lots of guys are too forward with their words and intentions; it can be a good thing when you have the correct intent and tension behind it, but if you’re not leaving some space for some uncertainty you won’t be leaving the space for the attraction to amp up.

Keep things within the frame of “I’m in control, I like you but I’m not going to go all in.”

5. Cold Reads:

Assuming instead of asking creates an attractive kind of role play when interacting with a girl, mostly because when you assume something it’s like you are giving out free information, asking somewhat requires the other party to invest and begin talking therefore it “takes”.



You: So what’s your favorite color?

Her: Uhh... Pink.



You: You seem like the type of girl that likes orange.

Her: Lol, why?

Causes an open ended answer and causes intrigue.

6. Roleplaying:

Roleplaying can work wonders; any situation where you can tease her with some fun type of roleplaying usually generates lots of attraction.


You: Hey, you are my new girlfriend for the next five minutes.

Her: What?

You: Yes, I don’t think it’s going to work though.

Her: Why wouldn’t it?

You: [Addressing her friend while hugging her] Do you think we make a cute couple? Just imagine our babies.

Her and her friend: Lol!

You: But you know what? It’s Over.

If she’s at least slightly attracted to you and knows that it’s all just fun and games she’ll play along, this is actually exactly the first interaction I had with my current girlfriend.

All of these are basics of how to effectively flirt with girls, pay attention to the interactions other people have around you and you’ll see how all of these patterns emerge. Trust me; what movies have traditionally taught us about flirting is all lies, once you get in the correct frame and practice those flirting skills; you’ll have the control in your life to decide what type of relationships you want to get in with girls. Go out and get social.

Related Articles:

Attract Girls: All you need to know about causing an uncontrollable attraction in women.

Become a Leader: Become the guy that makes the plan, become the guy that IS the plan.

What do Women Want?: The secret revealed, get inside her mind and see it yourself.

How to find a girlfriend: 7 steps to getting the girl of your dreams and becoming the guy that she wants.

Back to What is Attraction

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