7 First Date Advice Tips - Play it Cool and Show her the best version of yourself

The best first date advice you could get comes from focusing all your planning on 2 main aspects of the date. One is the logistics: deciding where to go and what to do. The other is attitude: putting yourself in the best mindset that allows you to be cool, have fun, and be your best self.

The following ideas will keep any date of your choice on the fun part of the dating spectrum, wherever it is that you choose to go; call it a night club, bar, Star Trek convention, or just laying on your couch and watching the spongebob movie with her.

An alpha male (you!) is prepared to invite any girl of his choice into a fun and pleasant night, a night where she will have fun just because she’s going out with you, and you know how to lead this date and have a blast. So, to keep if fun, be the man, and lead your date to an awesome ending, keep these 7 first date advice tips in mind.

1. Get yourself in a social mood BEFORE the date starts:

Don’t expect that if you are a guy who spends all of his day playing World of Warcraft, you’ll be able to automatically click into a social mood right away. Being social is about building up to that moment of ‘social ease’, a kind of ‘social flow’. When you haven’t been social in a while, it is hard to click into that mood, so you must actually take action and do the things that will take you there and cause this to happen.

For some people, getting into a social mood happens faster than for others, call it whatever you want to call it; us shy guys need to warm up before going out because it’ll take us just that little bit longer. It’s important that you build comfort in your first date, so, you need to get yourself social.

List of things that to do to get yourself in a social mood or ‘warm up’:

1. Go out and interact with people.

That’s it; call it small talk in the elevator, interacting with a waitress, hanging out with friends. Whatever it is, you need to get yourself feeling loose and unstifled, flowing and social.

2. Have no expectations:

Even though it’s a beautiful thought to think that ALL human beings are unique and special, in this case you’d rather not. Lower your expectations of humanity as low as you can and take the pressure off; think that she’s just another girl, that there are billions of them. 'No expectations' is one of the best first date advice you'll find.

Those huge expectations of what will happen in this first date, or if it’ll work out or not in the long run, if she’ll like you or not, will just add pressure to the whole thing, expect nothing, as there’s nothing more unattractive than neediness.

Change the focus of your expectations:

  • Instead of having expectations related to the date or the girl; put all of your expectations on thoughts like ‘how you’ll have fun no matter what’ and ‘how you’ll be expressive of your personality’.

If you focus on having fun, she will have fun with you, shift the focus to you focusing on yourself.

3. Relax:

Being relaxed just communicates ALL the right things about you, and this is especially good first date advice, being relaxed unconsciously tells her that you are a guy who is used to dating women like her.

This is especially important when dating beautiful girls, about 95% of the job is done just by chilling and being normal around her.

Anyway, relaxing is easier said than done, right?

Well, there are 3 ways in which you can teach yourself to relax:

  1. Practice meditation: Meditation is the practice of getting outside your head and living the moment, and funny enough, being in your head and over-analyzing everything is that one special thing that won’t allow you to relax in the first place.
  2. Reframe it: Reframing is simply adding perspective to the whole deal, ideas like ‘if it doesn’t work it’ll just be another learning experience’, ‘there’s millions of beautiful girls out there’, ‘how would I act if I 100% knew she liked me’, ‘she probably likes me as much as I like her’, ‘she probably wears ugly hello kitty pajamas to bed’, ‘her feet probably stink’. You know, any idea that helps you put perspective into it.
  3. Experience it: This is the ultimate way to being 100% relaxed, it is the best first date advice principle, none of the other two will make it all real until you actually KNOW how it all works and that YOU CAN do it. If you think about it, it goes along with one of the reframes: ‘if it doesn’t work it’ll just be another learning experience’, which is just completely true.

4. Don’t be afraid to show your interest:

I’ll sometimes tell you to ‘play it cool’ and ‘act aloof’, well, your first date isn’t the best place to do this. Showing your interest doesn’t mean you have to be all in and super needy, it’s all about flirting and finding that special balance.

Good eye contact with a wink will usually do a better job than a bunch of roses.

The whole idea is that you make a good job communicating the obvious: ‘I’m a man, you’re a woman, I like you, I think I’m cool and let’s make this happen’. That’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?

Well, many times we forget to present it in this way and become overly aloof or in the other extreme, just too friendly and too much of a ‘best friend’; this only ends up either frustrating the girl or getting into the dreaded friendzone.

5. Lead:

Girls like being led, actually no... they LOVE being led.

It’s as if your date was a ‘car’, and you’re driving it, she’s just coming along and enjoying the ride.

Plan the steps of this date, plan what time you’re picking her up, where you’re going, what she’ll wear, how many times she’ll blink … No, seriously, just have the basics planned out and lead her through the night. But still remember to be flexible and welcoming of her suggestions.

This is great first date advice, because, if it all were to develop into a boyfriend-girlfriend situation, you’d be basically setting the frame for the whole thing in the future.

Being in control and being a leader is very attractive to women.

6. Go somewhere where you both can feel comfortable:

Building comfort is also important first date advice. A guy she might find extremely attractive does nothing if she doesn’t feel comfortable around him, comfort will eventually lead it all into a second date, or more time together later that day.

Comfort + attraction is the magic combination that will get you all the girls you want, and this first date is no exception. However, it’s a balance that you’ll achieve through experience.

Tips for comfort in your first date:

Emotions are contagious: the first step is making yourself feel comfortable with just expressing your personality and showing it to others, this is more of a long term goal.

Make eye contact: Sometimes when we feel nervous we just forget to make eye contact, eye contact is both flirtatious as it is comfort-building.

Be congruent: It might sound contradictory with ‘making yourself comfortable first’, but this is one of those things that ends up being two sides of the same coin. What it basically means is that if you are feeling nervous, or whatever it is, you just accept that you’re feeling that way, you might even comment on it, but be fully congruent with it. Be completely ok with how you feel and accept it fully with self-esteem.

Go to a location that’s comfortable for both: A beach trip with your friends is probably not the most comfort-building environment for your first date.

7. First Date Advice - Keep it light and fun:

You don’t want to get too hot and heavy too early regarding your feelings. Keep it fun and relaxed, escalate if it’s needed/you want to, and go for the kiss if all the signs are there. But in general, no girl wants you to declare your unconditional love for her on a first date. She sure wants to know you like her, and she now knows she likes you (as you just went in an awesome date, duh!).

Keep those 7 tips and first date advice in mind and ANY place you choose to go with a girl will result in a quality fun date.


Related Articles:

Avoid the Friendzone: You're the man who is going to venture into this completely imPOSSIBLE mission.

Become a Leader: Become the guy that makes the plan, become the guy that IS the plan.

A man's Body Language: Use your body language to attract all the girls you deserve.

Read a Woman's body language: Learn how to read women's UNCONCIOUS displays of attraction.

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