Extreme shyness is more common than you think, I know I had it and I know a bunch of you guys out there do too and that’s why you’re reading this and trying to fix it.
Don’t feel alone, millions of people out there feel shyer than they should and there are ways to overcome it.
Many guys out there feel the same way as you, you get nervous when ordering at a restaurant, when entering the restaurant, when your food is too cold you’d rather eat it than complain because you fear conflict, talking to women is nerve-wrecking and so on.
Maybe you have a few shy friends but they’re definitely not as shy as you are, this probably has been a problem your entire life.
If you’re feeling a bit too related to the things I’m saying it’s because I was there, ever since I remember I’ve been a shy guy and at times I’ve felt like I’ve had some sort of extreme shyness.
Good news is: I overcame it, and so can you.
Being shy, introverted or timid are completely different things, you can be introverted and not feel fear when you’re in most social situations.
What we are talking about here is real shyness, there’s nothing wrong with being introverted, but there’s certainly something that’s not right about being shy and we can fix that.
Shyness comes from a lack of self-confidence around others, the feeling of “not being enough so I’d rather just sit here be quiet or just avoid being around others” is what defines your social adventures.
This lack of confidence and self-trust can be replaced with its opposite; the real fix to this problem lies in your own mind.
Being a bit shy is nothing to beat yourself up over, however, once you let this shyness rule your life it becomes a HUGE problem. It’ll take away your social opportunities and you can guess how this can ruin your entire life.
I let shyness take over when I was around 14 and it ruined my teen years, no girlfriend, no real friends and no social life. It all just destroyed my confidence even further which kind of made me well… shyer.
As you let shyness define your actions, you comfort zone will just get smaller and smaller every time. A smaller comfort zone will make you more fearful of more and more things that you’ll progressively stop doing them because of shyness itself.
It becomes a vicious cycle.
People generally want to be around fun positive people, being shy really narrows your social scene as you’ll find it hard to be expressive and outgoing. It doesn’t mean you won’t make any friends, it means only the people who consistently see your personality will be your friends and that’ll take a longer time in the friend-making process.
So, the point is; you can’t let shyness stop you from doing the things you want to do.
There’s this thing called social anxiety, I had it and it can be pretty draining. Social anxiety is a generalized fear of social situations, at some point your comfort zone gets so small and your mentality can get so weak that every social situation can possibly cause you to feel incredibly anxious.
The good part is that you can learn to deal with the emotions that this special kind of extreme shyness brings, it can seem impossible and overwhelming but it’s definitely worth it. I’ve written an article about how to deal with the strong anxiety emotions that come with it and transform your mentality effectively.
If you consider yourself to be shy but not that shy, then you probably don’t have social anxiety so don’t stress about it.
But hey, it’s all good because you can revert everything and become a cool confident version of yourself, get all the opportunities and expand your comfort zone in whatever shape or form you want.
The way to fight back is by taking the right action. To feel fear and do it anyways, you must conquer territory in the “dis-comfort zone” so that you can add it to your comfort zone.
Shyness is the consequence of developing a poor sense of self-trust and consequently having bad social skills. When it comes to social dynamics it all turns into annoying self-feeding loops as you might have noticed.
The easiest way to get the life you want is by living the life you want. If you want to be fit then you must build a life that naturally allows you to be fit: include some gym time in there and a good nutrition. Same thing happens with shyness, if you want a confident and socially rich life, you must first start living a life that includes empowering thoughts to improve your confidence and lots of socialization to polish your social skills.
This is not something that you do once and learn it forever, your lifestyle must change to keep up with the life you want.
Take more territory and make it your new comfort zone, as you start doing more and more things that make you uncomfortable they start becoming more and more comfortable, it’s just the way our minds work. The more you do certain tasks, the more the anxiety will disappear.
A full in-depth analysis on How to Overcome Shyness.
Extreme shyness can be cured the only thing you need is to make a decision to change your life, work on it and be willing to face those stressing situations. Go out and get social.