There are several different effective leadership styles, like everything in social dynamics; what is always truly important is always the underlying message in your communication. Different actions can carry to the same result if you’re transmitting all the right things.
What this means is that there’s actually many ways to be and become a leader. To be that guy that controls the social situation, whom everyone looks at for approval, who leads people and plans and who women love; there are actually several roads leading to the same place.
There’s two main approaches that I have tested out first hand and those are the effective leadership styles I’ll explain to you.
Imagine the Alpha Male Wolf, and just imagine how he acts and why he becomes the alpha male in the pack.
The alpha wolf states his opinions and doesn’t let other wolves step over him.
The alpha wolf is assertive and outspoken; everyone knows who the leader is, and it’s just pretty obvious because he lets other know through who he is at all times.
Being ‘the active cause’ means being the person who is actively leading. Being outspoken and leading the conversation, taking the whole group from conversation topic to conversation topic, from venue to venue in the most pleasant manner.
This is the typical guy who you’ll see be a leader of people; just someone who infects everyone with fun and actively takes the necessary actions.
The gist of it is becoming more extroverted and bringing the fun to others. Let your actions influence others.
Now let’s think about the leader gorilla; unlike the wolf who’s constantly asserting his leadership, the gorilla only acts when he has to. Everyone feels this powerful presence whenever the silverback is around.
This kind of leader is a ‘grounded’ leader, instead of being the leader of the conversation; this kind of leader becomes the guy who is listening but strangely he’s the guy who everyone looks at for approval.
Ever been in a situation where people just ‘feel’ that they’ve go to direct to a certain person in conversation as if they were mainly talking to that person?
The grounded leader is pure presence, this kind of leadership comes from pure 100% self-belief. And even though it might sound like a more attractive leadership style to the shy-type of guys; it’s a harder kind of leadership to get.
I personally like this type of leadership more than the ‘extroverted’ type, but that’s just a personal preference and a personal long term goal.
As I said before, becoming the grounding source of energy is much harder than becoming extroverted, but here is how you develop it:
In life: Know what you’re doing with your life. For example: If you’re building a business, make sure that your plans are leading you there.
In particular situations: If you’re out with your friends having a few drinks; the purpose of that night is fun, so stick to it.
When different things work and create the same results; it is because they came from the same place. When extroversion and being grounded work it is because they’re both coming from deep self-trust and positive emotions.
So, feel free to try your own methods and find your own effective leadership styles.
I’ve found that sometimes it pays off to be the alpha wolf and take control in an extroverted way. This is a very important skill to have; especially for us naturally shy guys.
Other times; it’s way cooler to be the chill guy and just become the leader through your ability to be grounded.
It all develops the more you go out and get social.