One of the things that helped me the most on dealing with social anxiety was breaking down the main areas to work on, I love having things methodically organized, an since it was all too much information to digest; this simple plan came up. So I listed three main areas / waypoints / guidelines / ideas to work on and keep in mind.
Persistence: It is extremely important when dealing with social anxiety, if you don’t persist in pursuing your goals, you won’t get anywhere. Overcoming social anxiety starts here, it’s basically a battle vs. your comfort zone and it can only be won through your persistence.
Commitment: Just like persistence, you must be committed to the idea that you can get the life you want, committed to the plan and committed to do whatever it takes to reach your goal.
Belief: Make this plan YOUR plan, research all you can on the topic of social anxiety, learn about YOURSELF and your thought / action patterns, this is your life and you must fully believe in shaping it the way you want.
Dealing with social anxiety starts with realizing that your views of the world might be wrong, and that in most social aspects they are, a few realizations must be made in order to put sense into your everyday social interactions and start making the right social interpretations and connections in your mind.
Lower your standards: There is absolutely NO perfection in social interactions, the illusion of perfection actually comes from the full belief of someone in what they do and who they are, this is your main goal – full belief in yourself.
Trusting yourself makes it all easier: Easier said than done, I know. But once you start trusting yourself and feeling more comfortable it ALL becomes so much easier. The mental noise goes away, suddenly ‘correct thing to say’ starts popping easily into your mind, and it all starts with self-trust. Baby steps man, baby steps.
The world is a light place: People are not out to get you, negativity does nasty things to your mind; one of these nasty things is getting you to think that everyone is just trying to screw you over. The world is for you to make out of it whatever you want and ‘smooth sail’ through it.
Experiment: You are your new lab rat, experiment with everything socially. Become a what-if-I-try-this guy, turn everything into a social experiment. Don’t take any social mishappenings personally, once you decide that you are going to improve YOUR life, other’s opinion becomes their problem – an idea that you must plow into your brain.
I offer lots of advice on what actions to take in all the areas, dating, attracting girls, etc. It’s all very valuable information but hard to digest it all at once. Let's keep it basic, if you're dealing with social anxiety you might have a lot of ‘mental noise’ when you’re out, keeping it simple allows you build that initial comfort while still moving forward.
Talk: I know it’s hard, but this becomes step one of action. Stop listening to your emotions that are trying to keep you in your comfort zone and start doing the things that will build comfort in the areas you need. Makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?
Work on your appearance: If it helps you feel better and more comfortable out there and making friends and working on your social skills then it’s good. Get yourself a new wardrobe, a new haircut and start working out.
Practice your storytelling skills: This is a very good way to practice the “just talk” thing, stories happen to everyone; we all walk somewhere at some time and things happen. Even grocery shopping can become an interesting story if you learn how to tell it.
Thrive, don’t cope: This site is dedicated to a very special audience; the shy/socially anxious guys that want to get all those social opportunities they’ve missed back; just like me. Do not conform to any less than what you want.
Those are my top 3 Areas when it comes to dealing with social anxiety; I’d recommend you actually build your very own list that suits your needs and mentalities, print it out and read it every day. Remember that the main principle is to go out and get social.
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