Shyness + women = trouble. This is why getting the correct dating tips for shy guys is so important, putting yourself in the right direction in everything that relates to dating, women and having a good and healthy romantic life is crucial.
It is time for you to head in the right direction and get your dating life together, get the girlfriend, the multiple girls, the wife, or just women in general to give you the time a day. These 6 dating tips for shy guys come from my experience in the area and going from being the shy-and-completely-frozen guy around girls to a completely cool, relaxed and personality-attractive guy.
It’s all about learning the correct skills, getting in the right path and working for it.
Being shy with girls typically means that you are shy around most people, or at least that you aren’t the most confident guy in the room most times.
Shyness comes from the way we perceive ourselves in relation to others, to some extent ‘wanting others to like you’ or ‘not wanting to get rejected by others’, all of this just means trouble around girls.
Because we all want to be liked by girls, this kind of thought can oftentimes get you to completely freeze, have a stuttering voice tone or blush around those pretty girls.
But guess what; it’s OK!
It’s ok to be shy, it’s ok to want to get through it, and it’s ok to feel whatever way it is that you are feeling around the hot women.
This is all about you and what you want, you can’t control what others think about out. The one thing that you can control is your actions, so take ALL of your actions and put the necessary work to achieve your goals.
If your goal is to get a good dating life if you’re a shy guy then you need to:
Becoming a ‘cool guy’ with lead you to social success in all areas, but it’s all a long path. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have success until you become a ‘cool guy’. You already are a cool guy; you just need the social experience and confidence to show your personality to the world.
You can still have success along the way, but you must keep your eyes at the end zone. What this means is that while you go out there and work on yourself you will succeed at times and fail at others.
These dating tips for shy guys focus on both the short term and long term. Any particular date you might have is not THE important thing, if you succeed and have an awesome date or start getting success with girls then that’s awesome, if you fail then that’s just another brick in your castle and that’s even more awesome.
This is the first practical step, if you freeze around girls (like I did) then you need to start feeling comfortable around them. Don’t’ pretend that if you’ve barely talked to any girls throughout your life, when you finally get a date you’ll be cool and smooth.
The more you interact with women the more you’ll get comfortable around them.
Start hanging out with your sister’s friends, with your friends’ girlfriends, with the girls at school or at work. Make it strictly platonic, you have no interest in these girls, but you do need to learn what it is like to be around female energy and get used to it.
We’ve all seen that guy that guy that even though he is comfortable around girls; he becomes their girl-friend, emotional tampon or just a clown.
Yes, I know I just told you to get some platonic female friends; however, you also need to practice being the guy that GETS the girls around them. This does NOT mean that you have to make a move on your friend’s girlfriend; it means you have to start being comfortable being the fun-social-cool guy, because this is exactly what you want to be around women.
Not the ‘Aww you’re so cute don’t worry you’ll find someone someday, here; have a pat on the back’ guy.
Once you get a date, you want to usually break out of your ‘shy shell’.
Breaking out of your shy shell has probably happened to you at random given times, fun night with friends, you start feeling more and more comfortable and suddenly you stop being your typical shy-self and get on a social roll, all your jokes are funny (and even if they’re not you don’t care), people want you to be in the conversation, etc.
But the next day you are just feeling a bit more conservative and roll back into your shy shell.
This is normal, as introverts this is kind of our natural state. However, being an introvert does not mean that you have to be shy and awkward. Being a socially smart introvert just means that you have to work a bit more to put yourself in this social mood.
One of the most important dating tips for shy guys; getting socially warmed up:
Let’s say you got yourself a date for tonight or you’re going out with your buddies to meet girls tonight. To get yourself socially warmed up you need to begin forcing your social side out, this happens when you force yourself to get social.
Talk with people:
It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s not like you’re getting into some sort of social commitment with these people, all that you’re doing is getting your brain used to interacting with people. By the time you’re on your date or out with your buddies to meet girls; you’ll already be in a much more social mood and unlikely to fall back into the shy shell.
As shy guys, we are oftentimes ashamed of the things we want. Whether it is to show a girl that we like her or telling our friends that we think ‘that girl is so hot’.
This goes a long way, it doesn’t mean that you have to go out and confess your love to every girl – be cool.
But instead it means that you are not afraid of liking someone and making it evident.
Looking her deep in the eyes goes a long way; it tells her that you like her and are not ashamed of it, that you feel worthy of expressing it, and that you feel worthy of her liking you back.
While looking away nervously tells her the complete opposite.
It all begins by giving yourself permission to be congruent to what you feel, telling others and especially YOURSELF that you don’t have to apologize for your desires.
This is an idea that you have to tattoo on your mind, as shyness in dating is closely associated to wanting others to like us. If you give yourself permission to be unapologetic you are slowly teaching yourself to feel worthy of the good kind of attention from girls as well as teaching yourself to get approval only from yourself.
The difference is told by your attitude.
This idea of the super cool and super smooth guy is a lie. This is life, not a James Bond movie, people make mistakes in real life, they stutter, shyly look away, don’t know what to say from time to time, etc.
Even though we all strive to become more free, outspoken and relaxed, it is ok to make mistakes, it’s not the end of the world.
What you think those guys who seem to be confident around women are doing is not more than just being normal around them, there are no fireworks or rockets involved. Stop picturing yourself bellow others and thinking that you have to put on a spectacle to entertain girls.
Silence is normal; people tend to freak out when things go quiet. Some freak out by filling in the silence with endless talking, saying whatever pops into their head or just getting extremely uncomfortable with silence. Actually the correct thing to do is to in the long run is to learn how to have no stifled filters that make you go silent.
But, you can actually turn silence into a powerful too. Silence means tension and if you keep your cool while it all went quiet you can build up the good kind of tension, the attractive kind.
You can do things like:
It inverts the roles and makes her think that she’s the one who has to fill in the silences, it causes her to feel attracted to you and most importantly; it allows you to be ok with being quiet from time to time.
This is one of those dating tips for shy guys that we usually forget. We forget that the girl right in front of us is another human being simply because we are too busy thinking about what this ‘thing’ thinks about us.
She might be as nervous as you are on this date; as a matter of fact she is also stuck in her head thinking things like ‘DOES HE LIKE ME?’ Relax, it’s cool, you just have to really tattoo this in your mind as well.
She’s probably as nervous as you are.
She’s probably as concerned about what you think of her as you are about what she thinks of you.
In the end, these 6 dating tips for shy guys will get you on the correct direction, all you have to do is follow the guidelines, get dates and get experience. Go out and get social!
First Date Advice: Get it RIGHT the first time and get her to want to see you more and more.
6 Ideas for a Fun Date: Ideas, ideas, ideas! Stop being boring and do something new.
5 Steps to Asking Someone Out: The first step is getting that first date.
Attract Girls: All you need to know about causing an uncontrollable attraction in women.