Constantly avoiding social situations can mess up your life in more ways can you can imagine. In fact I could say that most of my social failures, becoming an awkward person, lacking of confidence, and perpetual intense anxiety could be attributed to the habit of avoiding uncomfortable social situations from a young age.
Avoiding any situation that makes you slightly uncomfortable is actually a pretty normal thing to do, but for us shy guys this means missing out on the situations and opportunities that’ll make everyday social situations something that we are used to.
The result is everything I said before, you’ll grow into:
Your comfort zone gets smaller and smaller every time and you just stop trusting your ability to handle social situations. Any bit of social skill you had goes down the drain; you stop growing and start shrinking.
I came up with the following phrase regarding my social skills:
Avoidance is a decision; not an uncontrollable fact. You make the choice whether to avoid any given social situation or face it. There’s really no in-between at this point, you’re either growing or shrinking; you’re either facing situations or avoiding situations.
Instead of gaining comfort in those situations that make you uncomfortable, you are just avoiding social situations and taking a step into becoming MORE uncomfortable in those situations.
Getting the social life that you deserve begins with this decision. There’s a turning point once you stop thinking about improving your social life and when you actually start taking action to improve it.
Each rock in you castle will come from social experience, regardless if it’s a negative or a positive one; experience is what moves you forward and once you stop avoiding social situations you get the snowball moving.
Make the decision to never reject a party invitation again, to always come and say hi to the guests at your house, be eager to pick up the phone, because it’ll all give you social experience and that is ALWAYS GOOD.
Avoiding social situations is something that stops for you right now. You’ll see amazing results shortly if you start taking action instead of avoiding it altogether.
Social experience will eventually allow you to relax in more and more social situations and settings, allowing you to express your personality freely in a confident way.
To stop avoiding social situations is the first step to this kind of improvement and the way to achieve it is to make a decision and get in there with all you’ve got. Go out and get social.