Like one of my favorite bands, Green Day would say “Nice guys finish last. You're running out of gas. Your sympathy will get you left behind.”
Why is it that when it comes to girls it seems like the guys being bad to them get all the girls?
Apparently being nice, buying gifts, paying for dinners and opening doors doesn’t work. The girl ends up going after the guy with the greasy hair, leather jacket, aviator shades and the bike.
It doesn’t make any sense!
Not even women are able to explain this; they just know that they love a bad boy, even though they’ll say they want a nice guy.
The bad guy makes women feel those emotions and we all know women take decisions based on emotions.
The answer lies deep in a woman’s brain - it’s a question of social status.
We all want what we can’t have; in this case a bad boy is uncontrollable for a woman. A bad boy doesn’t necessarily have to be rich, good looking or even CLEAN.
But he will have a very big advantage over the nice guy simply because he’s uncontrollable, a confident guy living through his own vision of the world and not caring what anyone says.
Nice guys finish last because they are usually seeking for approval and seeking for reactions. If you’re doing this you must stop immediately.
So what’s the answer? Become bad? Stop being a nice guy?
Well none of the above, you can be a nice person if this is what you like. I personally like to be nice to everyone and make people feel good around me. I used to be kind of a clown, liked making people laugh at my expense. I was a typical nice guy; I’d let my boundaries get stepped all over and so on.
This however had NOTHING to do with how nice you can be, this had a lot more to do with me being nice so people liked me. I was seeking for approval because I felt like I needed their approval, was being a taker, not a giver.
Nowadays when I want to be nice I make it from a giver point of view, I want to give value to people around me and I don’t really care for their approval.
So yes, you can be a nice guy and still not fall into the nice guys finish last role.
This takes us to what’s truly important!
Which is living life through your own values, learn how to be assertive, learn to not take anything less than what you deserve from people, and realize that you as a man don’t need anything from anyone.
Remember that you are building yourself up; your focus should be on growth and no on other people’s opinions.
Be nice because you like being nice, because you enjoy making people feel at ease around you. From a confident point of view, giving approval and not taking approval, stop doing it to feel good. Being nice to be liked is VERY weak.
Decide what your values are and stand up for them, and remember, nice guys finish last!
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